![]() ![]() So was the couple a victim of the proverbial itch? Dr Kersi Chavda, consultant psychiatrist in Hinduja Hospital, Mumbai, thinks so. Naturally, things came to head and Prashant confronted her. It was around then that Prashant saw one of her chat windows open on her laptop. But I couldn’t help but feel good about the attention I was getting from the other man,” remembers Savitri. “In my heart, I knew things were spiralling out of control when we began calling this a relationship and making plans to meet each other. He complimented her for little things, sent her surprise gifts at work…it was a disaster waiting to happen-to her marriage. She met her classmate from school on a social networking site, and the casual re-acquaintance soon took on a deeper shade. “I was straining under the need to keep it all up and was frustrated that it was taken for granted that I would keep doing it all.” Prashant, my husband, was busy with his job and I was busy trying to balance everything including the kids, my work and the home,” says Savitri. “I think the daily routine took a toll on us. They were the typical high-achieving couple living in Delhi, with two adorable kids. Savitri Kela*, a research analyst, had been married to her long-time boyfriend for about six years. And some others go for intimacy-emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical. Some go an extra mile, trying to find a relief, by looking for support outside their marriage. Most couples well into their marriage will relate to Veena’s situation. Yes, our marriage has evolved and so have we-some of it is good, but certainly not all,” shares Veena. “Yet the changes wrought during that time stay. Now, their daughter is seven years old and life seems much easier for the couple. Eventually, our weapon with each other became indifference.” “The more I yelled, the less seriously he took me. “And if he didn’t pull his weight on weekends, I would be driven with blind rage,” she remembers. Veena’s husband travelled four days a week. Practical issues of running the house while taking care of the baby took precedence. With a baby arriving six years after marriage, the sheer pressure of looking after the child while they both held full-time jobs started adding to the stress. The stress of marriage in Veena’s case was highlighted after she and her husband had their child. It is a huge task to put two people together and expect that over time they won’t take each other for granted.” “While the seven-year period might be suspect, I do think that marriages get weary over time. That’s two itches,” says Veena Venugopal, a resident of Kochi, and author of Would You Like Some Bread With That Book. “I have almost served a full life sentence, having been married for nearly 14 years now. And not wanting to rock the rhythm of their lifestyle, couples let their marriage transform into a routine. Sometimes, the years of marriage and the proximity between two people in it slowly leaves a sense of stagnation. ![]()
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